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In only a week, over 6000 will be sitting in the Skonto Hall, Riga to
hear 26 songs from all over Europe battle it out in the 2003
Eurovision Song Contest.
Millions will tune in all over the world to this annual pop fest.
We'll all be waiting for the Eurovision theme "Te Deum" by
Charpantier to herald 3 hours of festivities.
No that's not pronounced "Tedium".
Here's my personal view on this year's runners & riders.
Listed in the order performers will appear in Riga, and the ratings
are my guess at where they will end up:
1. Iceland
Singer:Birgitta Haukdal
Song: Open Your Heart
Cheerful, catchy bright opener sung by the lead singer of icelandic
band Isafar. The original version of this song had problems with
sounding like Richard Marx's "Right here waiting for you",
but they made changes and weakened it. Still, its a great song which
is only disadvantaged by being on first. Doesn't she look like last
year's singer for Estonia, Sahlene? Top 10
2. Austria
Singer: Alf Poier
Song: Weil Der Mensch Zählt
A joke song delivered in German that shows the Austrians have their
own sense of humour. Total bilge, and only worth watching for the
stuffed animals and crazy backing singers. Bottom 5
3. Ireland
Singer: Mickey Harte
Song: We've Got the World Tonight
Ireland's Pop Idol show spawned this derivative song, which is a near
clone of the 2000 Song contest winner "Fly on the wings of
love". Competently done, and has a certain something. To be
reckoned with, but not my thing at all. Top 10
4. Turkey
Singer: Sertab Erener
Song: Everyway That I Can
Sertab is one of this year's older singers, and her experience shows
in this piece of Turkish delight. Their first all-English song, it
drives along switching between belly dancing music, hip-hop &
R&B, and yet remains very Turkish. Terrific stuff, but it could
be hard to put the burning sensuality into a stage performance rather
than a video. Top 10
5. Malta
Singer: Lynn Chircop
Song: To Dream Again
Malta send yet another nice romantic ballad sung by a nice
girl-next-door type. Pretty forgettable, but you won't hear that from
the Maltese. they have no football team, and this contest is the
European Cup for them. Mid ranking
6. Bosnia-Herzegovina
Singer: Mija Martina Barbaric
Song: Ne Brini
Techno dance number. The English version has terrible lyrics, but
it's expected be performed in Bosnian. Mija looks a bit like the UK's
Lyndsay from 2001, but with the right dancers on stage this could go
down well. Middle ranking
7. Portugal
Singer: Rita Guerra
Song: Deixa-me Sonhar
Dreary slow-moving ballad from an experienced torch singer. Why no
torch, I say. Bottom 10
8. Croatia
Singer: Claudia Beni
Song: Vise Nivam Tvoje
This year's youngest performer, 17-year old Claudia has been
performing for years in the group Teens. She's studying hairdressing
which may account for the fondness she shows for long mis-matched
hairpieces stuck on her head. Nice Britney-style song, with plenty of
dance movement and perhaps an over-cheesy routine from the backing
singers. I really like this one, but most don't. Top 10
9. Cyprus
Singer: Stelios Konstantas
Song: Feeling Alive
Dancy techno song, but not really lively enough for its title. Mid ranking
10. Germany
Singer: Lou
Song: Let's Get Happy
Some fans love this very corny song sung by ageing flame-haired Lou,
but its combination of cheesy lyrics, relentless upbeat melody,
insane backing dancers, and downright ugly singer turn me off. Writen
by the team that won the contest for Germany in 1982 you can see how
much they have degenerated since then. Bottom 10
11. Russia
Singing Duo: Tatu
Song: Ne ver', ne bojsia
High energy. The bookies have this as the one to beat, but there's a
lot of question marks. Can they sing live, and will their
mock-lesbian act turn voters off more than on? There's also how it
will sound - the mix on the compilation is very weak after the hard
noisy original version, which I think is easily the best song this
year. They will certainly make it an interesting week in Riga, and
will keep the show in the headlines. Not a winner, though. Top 10
12. Spain
Singer: Beth
Song: Dime
Punky 22-year old Beth is into metal - in her face and body, and it's
all I notice about her. Uptempo dance number selected from Spain's
Pop Idol show, but written by a successful duo, Andermay. Spain will
be watching in millions, and will again be disappointed. This gets
nowhere, but quite rapidly. Mid ranking
13. Israel
Singer: Lior Narkis
Song: Many Words for Love
Every musical style you could ask for in this uptempo ragbag, plus
the obligatory dancing girls marching as if they were in the Israeli
Defence Force, which they probably are. No class, though. Seems like
something from the 1960s. Bottom 10
14. Netherlands
Singer: Esther Hart
Song: One More Night
Powerful rouser, somewhat typical of the better Dutch ones. A real
shout-along, it isn't fancied, but I think it could surprise us, but
no winner. Great singer. Top 10
15. United Kingdom
Singing Duo: Jemini
Song: Cry Baby
Pale R&B effort with a few dance steps. Boy/Girl, she pretty, he,
er..pretty. Goes on for about 15 minutes. Enough said. Bottom 10
16. Ukraine
Singer: Olexandr Ponomaryov
Song: Hasta la vista
Kistchy rubbish with a Freddie Mercury opening, but the vocal range
is wrong for the singer, and its really just Abba's "Kisses of
Fire" in the chorus. Allegedly will be performed with a circus
act on stage. Well, it will beat watching the singer. Ukraine had so
much confidence in their own writers that Israelis were commissioned
to write this. Must have a been a spare. Bottom 10
17. Greece
Singer: Mando
Song: Never Let You Go
Good singer, second-rate Jennifer Rush style song. Pop to the loo
around here. Bottom 10
18. Norway
Singer: Jostein Hasselgard
Song: I´m Not Afraid to Move On
Curiously people really seem to really fancy this Gilbert
O'Sullivan-styled romantic ballad sung by pretty boy Jostein. I say
sung, but he seems to be off-key the whole song. I say song, but the
lyrics appear to have been translated from Norwegian by Altavista.
They all rate the melody, but I say what melody? Grating rubbish for
me, which I rate below Alf Poier for Austria. Bottom 10
19. France
Singer: Louisa
Song: Monts Et Merveilles
Slowish. Below par after recent French efforts, this one creeps in
and eventually seems inoffensive, perhaps even nice. Mid ranking
20. Poland
Singing Trio: Ich Troje
Song: Zadnych Granic
Punkish group with a great old-fashioned Imagine-esque song about
"No Borders". Yeah, peace, man, and all that. In German
& Polish to obscure the message, and sung by another flame-haired
singer, this time male. Good anthemic feel, but the lead singer's
gravelly voice lets it down. Mid ranking
21. Latvia
Singing Trio: F.L.Y.
Song: Hello from Mars
Easily the most immediate song. Uptempo and plenty of eye candy too
from the pretty Yana, and her suitors Martins & Lauris who seem
to believe Heaven is on Mars.
Still one of my favourites since first hearing despite the terrible
dictionary-style English lyrics which offer "Not afraid of a
blade we have to cross today, but I'm scared of being shared by
someone else". I guess a reference to kinky group sex. Good luck
with that Yana, but its a good 'un. Top 5
22. Belgium
Celtic Band: Urban Trad
Song: Sanomi
Celtic style years after it is out of fashion. Tell that to Enya, you
may say, but this isn't Enya. Sung in an imaginary language, I guess
they have nothing to say. Pleasant elevator music. More memorable
than some this year. Bottom 10
23. Estonia
Band: Ruffus
Song: Eighties Coming Back
Looks awful, Brit-pop style in appearance, and also vaguely in
musical style, but its really more like last night's curry coming
back. Pass the bucket, will you? Bottom 10
24. Romania
Singer: Nicola
Song: Don’t Break My Heart
Last year's mock-operatic Romanian song did pretty well to come 9th.
Most of expected it to bomb, so here is a funky fairly modern fast
Bomfunk-style song we fans like, so maybe it'll bomb? Nicola is no
spring chicken, but she has a bright look about about her, and this
is a great number. The lyrics may grate a little - "Have you
ever known what good friends are for?" gets repeated sooo often
- but its so well done I still love it. The best Romanian entry so
far. Top 10
25. Sweden
Singing Duo: Fame
Song: Give Me Your Love
Another Abba-esque Swedish effort with the obligatory boy/girl line
up. One of the weakest from the Swedish selection of 32 won, I
think, because both singers are from Sweden's Pop Idol.
Depressing pattern setting in, don't you think? Bit like Sweden's
Friends from 2001, but not as catchy, nor well sung, nor do they look
as good, or am I just missing Nina from Friends? Good placing will
help it. Top 5
26. Slovenia
Singer: Karmen Stavec
Song: Nanana
Imaginative lyrics are not to be found in this Euro-pop thing. Karmen
had her chance at the 2002 contest stolen by a bunch of Slovene
cross-dressers, so as consolation she gets to go this year with this
lightweight second-rater. Ho-hum. Mid ranking
All in all, not a vintage year. But we'll be drinking it in next
week, and even the worst will seem better, and Alf Poier might
actually seem funny.
Hats off to all those singing in a language other than English, and
yes, I am including Norway. We Europeans are not the same (Vive la
difference!), and I miss the foreign languages and the
orchestra. The orchestra gave it some class, but I guess kitsch
it is.
Fortunately for some (Austria, are you listening?) this year you can
come last and not be excluded next year. In recent years duds have
led to countries taking a break for year to allow other countries in,
but no more!
So many want to be in te 2004 contest that every country will get a
go - in the new Friday show. Those that do well this year will get a
by for the Friday and can sleep in until the Saturday show. This
means scoring poorly this year doesn't mean your country is out, but
it has to go the Vauxhall Conference League play off on the Friday,
beating off the oppostion for a crack at the Saturday qualifiers.
Oh, UK, Spain, Germany, & France get an automatic pass to the
Saturday anyway.
Makes no sense does it?
Still, back to this year, make sure you don't miss it. Saturday 24th
May at 8pm UK time. It will be fun, trust me! |
